Distracted?
It’s been a while.
For the summer, there was not enough time. I had a moving summer - magical, and filled with life-giving humans. I work hard in those mountains, and every moment free brings freedom. I was not supposed to spend time writing all summer. Summers in that place are made so that you have things to write about. I was not supposed to miss one second of it.
I headed back to Tennessee with every intention of returning to my routine, but I have been distracted. At least that’s what I was saying for a while. It’s been hard to write this.
As a human inspired by the way I feel [I guess we all are], I have been, because of a “Cowboy,” realizing that I have never felt THIS before. Motivated mostly by darkness to write so I can find the light [oh, and you better believe I’ll find it!], sadness, death, and the morbidity of life are easy topics to want out of a mind… so I write.
And while it feels silly and a little unnerving to write about something good that is just good, I think I have to now. Because Steven, the Cowboy is the color of not trying, and it is not a color I have ever felt before.
Not trying to get through this day with a smile, not trying to overcome, not trying to feel empowered.
Not trying to make myself feel better, not having to try not to take myself so seriously. Not trying to change the energy in a room - the energy that beams from his presence is light as a feather. Not trying to have fun anyway - THIS. IS. FUN. Not trying to laugh my way through life, but laughing hysterically ALL. THE. TIME. Not trying to make this life or love look easy [I didn’t know it could be] - THIS. IS. EASY.
I have not been distracted from what matters. It has been very easy to pay attention. I’m sure you’ll have to hear more about it. I’ll try to be cool though.
Here, listen to some music. It’s Steven’s birthday real soon, and I am very, very glad that he was born! This is his go-to karaoke song, ya’ll. He’s a real character. I’m blushing.
